All my weapons of mass destruction
      Don't know where I left them
      All the bombs I left behind
      I think I'm gonna lose my mind
      if somebody don't help me find
      my weapons
      of mass distruction

         I looked everywhere
         out in the shed, but they ain't there
         in the closet down the hall
         in my golf bag or
         under my bowling ball

      All my weapons of mass destruction
      Don't know where I left them
      all the bombs I left behind
      I think I'm gonna lose my mind
      if somebody don't help me find
      my weapons
      of mass distruction

         The dog ate my homework
         The check's in the mail
         Come this Tuesday I'll pay you back
         I swear Al Queda's tied to Iraq

         They've got nuc-u-lar weapons
         And little Tubes of Aluminum
         Rummy saved all the receipts
         From all the anthrax we sold 'um

      All my weapons of mass destruction
      Don't know where I left them
      all the bombs I left behind
      I think I'm gonna lose my mind
      if somebody don't help me find
      my weapons
      of mass distruction